1.
Nagyon sok koezlekedeesi baleset toertent az utoobbi idoe-
ben a kisegerek koezoett, ezeert iskolaaban a kisegereket
koezlekedeesi ismeretekre oktatja egy egeertanaar:
"Nehogy koeruelneezees neelkuel menjetek aat az uuton.
Mindig neezzetek eloeszoer neezzetek balra, majd jobbra.
Ha nem joen semmi, akkor minden rendben, aatmehettek.
Csak semmi rohangaalaas az uuttesten, hanem mindig oova-
tosan, megfontoltan gyalogoljatok aat az uuton. Nem sree-
gen, hanem meroelegesen az uuttest szeelere. Ha van zebra
a koezelben, akkor csak ott szabad aatmenni"
Maasnap egy egeerkislaany szalad aam aat az uuton, mintha
ott sem lett volna a koezlekedeesi ismeretek ooraan. Az
utolsoo pillanatok egyikeeben eeszreveszi, hogy joen egy
villamos. Azonnal megtorpan, behuzza a nyakaat, laaba
koezee csapja a farkaat ees megproobaal olyan picikeere
oesszegoemboelyoedni, amekkoraara csak tud. Mivel azonban
pont a siinen aallt meg, a villamos sutty, levaagja a
fejeet.

Mi ebboel a tanulsaag ?


(Ha egy noe farkat eerez a laaba koezoett, roegtoen el-
veszti a fejeet.)

2.
Nagy szaarazsaag van az erdoeben. Uel a hernyoo az aagon
ees neezi a fonnyadt falevelet:
"Ej, nem eszem meg een ezt a levelet ilyen fonnyadtan.
Megvaarom szeepen, amiig elered az esooe, ees a leveel ki-
zoelduel."
Uel a rigoo az aagon ees neezi a hernyoot:
"Ej, nem eszem meg een ezt a hernyoot ilyen sovaanyan. Meg-
vaarom, miig elered az esoe, kizoelduel a faleveel, mire a
hernyo megeszi ees egy kicsit meghiizik. Akkor een odarroep-
penek ees megeszem a hernyoot."
Uel a macska a fa alatt ees neezi a rigoot.
"Ej, nem fogom meg een ezt a rigoot, hiszen csont ees boeer.
Inkaabb megvaarom, mig elered az esooe, kizoelduel a fale-
veel, amit majd megesz a hernyoo ees meghiizik. A hernyoot
meg megeszi a rigoo ees kigoemboelyoedik egy kicsit. Akkor
een felmaaszok a faara, megfogom a rigoot ees megeszem."
Ees looen, egyszer csak elkezd esni az esooe. A faleveel
kizoelduel, mire a hernyoo nyomban elkezdi enni. Mikor
veegzett vele, odaroepuel a rigoo ees hamm, bekapja a her-
nyoot. Erre a macska is elkezd felmaaszni a faara. A fa
toerzse viszont siikos az esoetooel ees a macska zsupsz,
beleesik egy toocsaaba.


Mi ebboel a tanulsaag ?


(Ha hosszuu az eloejaateek, lucskos lesz a szoerzet)


3.
Way down in deepest darkest Africa, there lived a monkey
and his best friend the elephant. They did nearly every-
thing together. One day Elephant was walking through the
jungle to friend monkey's house when he fell into a pool of
quicksand."Oh no! " thinks Elephant. "If I don't get out of
here soon I'll drown!!"  "Help me! Help me! I've fallen into
a pool of quicksand and I can't get out!", he trumpets. Mon-
key hears his friend Elephant calling and swings through the
trees to see what is going on. He gets to the pool of quick-
sand and sees his friend Elephant nearly totally under the
quicksand. "Don't worry friend Elephant  I'll get you out!"
So Monkey thinks for a minute and then races through the jungle
back to his house to get his red ferrari out of the jungle.
Monkey screams back to the quicksand in his red ferrari, ties
a rope to the tow bar and tosses the other end to Elephant.
"Here, friend Elephant! Hold onto the rope and I'll pull you
out." "Brrmm. Brrmm"  Monkey revs up the engine and finally
pulls his friend Elephant out of the quicksand. "Oh thank you.
Thank you friend Monkey. You've saved my life. I'm indebted to
you for ever!!" "That's O.K. friend Elephant. What are friends
for?" For a few weeks, everything was going along just fine.
Elephant was happily wandering through the jungle. Monkey was
happily swinging through the trees. One day Monkey was swinging
through the trees as usual until his hand missed the vine and
he fell into the same pool of quicksand. "Oh no! I've fallen
into a pool of quicksand and I can't get out! Help me. Help me!
If I don't get out I'll drown!" Because of Elephant's huge ears,
he hears the call for help straight away and starts crashing
through the jungle to find his friend Monkey. Elephant finally
finds his friend Monkey and says: "Don't worry friend Monkey. I'll
save you!!" Elephant stops to think how he can get his friend
Monkey out of the quicksand. He thinks, "Well I'm too big to
get into his red ferrari so I'll have to think of something else!"
All of a sudden he comes up with this great idea! "I know what
I'll do!" While Elephant was standing on the side of the quick-
sand pool he created this huge hard on. He grunts and groans
until it is as big as he can get it. "Here friend Monkey, grab
hold of this and I'll pull you out of the quicksand!" So Monkey
grabs hold of Elephant's penis. Elephant backs up and backs up
until Monkey is clear of the quicksand. "Oh thank you, thank you,
friend Elephant!! You saved my life! I'm indebted to you forever!"
"That's O.K. friend Monkey. What are friends for?"


wat's the moral of the story ?

(If you have a big dick, you don't need a red ferrari)

-Mi az abszolut csuszos ?
-???
-Beszappanozott hal, egy vo:do:r (bucket) takonyban.......

ehehehehe:)

-Hogyan lehet egy civil tuzoltot, nagy tomegben felismerni?
-???
-Nagyon nehezen....

:-)

-ovodas kislany es kisfiu megkerdezi az ovonenit:
-ovoneni, lehet nekunk gyerekunk?
-nem, kislanyom....
-hhhhhhhhhhh.........

Gavin Ewart:
A VICTORIAN ENIGMA

It was indeed an impenetrable type of being. A thick growth of what
a trichologist would have called 'hair' adorned the portion that might
be described as the head; and this was attached by a tubular structure
consisting of bone, musculature and other medical matter, covered in
skin, to what in some of our more popular murder cases is inevitably
headlined as the torso. From this depended or protruded two upper limbs,
having prehensile attachments, while to the lower part of the body were
attached two longer and as it were smoothly extruded features, used as
supports during locomotion. The attachments to these were almost
completely lacking in the prehensile quality above-mentioned.

From the front of the upper part of the body projected two large soft
protuberances, centred on which, as the bull's eye on a target, two
pink excrescences could be seen. It was not hard to determine that
the tissue of which these last were constructed was of an erectile 
nature.

As the head boasted two adornments that might be said to be eyes,
one olfactory organ, and movable mouth-parts, so the torso could
be described as 'adorned' by a pink and mouth-like generative organ
(as we later discovered it to be), situated between the two lower
limbs. To this, indeed, a crisp overgrowth of comparatively short
hairs added an air of importance --- and even of mystery.

The creature seemed, as we gathered round to inspect it more closely,
almost oblivious of our scrutiny. We learned later that it was in all
probability silently contemplating its own uniqueness; the eyes
had a far-away look, and one of the prehensile attachments to an
upper limb was partly inserted in the organ situated at the junction
of the legs, which it gently agitated with a mild strumming motion.

Both Professor Doyle and Mr Wells were transported by their
contemplation of this primitive organism. 'Only to think,' cried
Professor Doyle in tones of rapture, 'that I should be privileged
to see with my own eyes this prehistoric phenomenon, known to us
hitherto only from the writings of the Greek and Roman poets
and philosophers!'



=========
Eddig a rejtveny, holgyek, urak, csak folyvast, folyvast,
lehet megfejteni (es utana felhordulni, izles szerint).
Az elso helyes megfejtest bekuldo kozott 1 db ingyenes
MOKA-szamot sorsolok ki!!!

Udv mindenkinek,
Draconus
(az igazi viktorianus, Nebulus tudja, miert)